When a Leader Says “Yes”

Procrastination. 

Last-minute panic.

As a leader, have you experienced either?  Perhaps both?  (Maybe even simultaneously?!?)

When I started reading Stumbling on Happiness, I didn't expect to discover an explanation, let alone solution, for my lifetime of procrastination and last-minute panics.

But thanks to author Daniel Gilbert, I’m entering the new year with a new leadership paradigm that’s both comforting and challenging!

Gilbert’s paradigm focuses on, well, focus: 

When you see little black specks on a prairie horizon, you recognize them – visually – to be buffalo located far away. You don’t look at them and think, "They are tiny; thus, they must be insects."  The fact that they are vague and blurry signals to your brain that they are far away.  

Conversely, you recognize insects not just because they are small but also because you see the wings and legs; you see details!  Visually, you do very well at recognizing that vagueness and blurriness indicate distance while details signal closeness.  

When a buffalo comes walking across the prairie toward you, you do not act appalled that it has hooves or fur or eyelashes or other details you couldn't see when it was far away. You know that the closer it comes, the more details you will see.  This is normal, visually speaking.

However, when it comes to dealing with time – specifically planning for the future – we leaders can go “all wonky” (as my students would say)!

When I "see" something on the horizon of my future, it's all vague and blurry. I have a "feel" for it. This vague, blurry feel is typically the why of the future event. I make most of my leadership decisions based on that why. 

But as that vague and blurry future gets closer, inevitably becoming the up-close and detailed present, I am shocked – positively appalled! – by all the details to which I did not agree! The myriad details of the how make me crazy. 

Gilbert illustrates this by asking how many times you’ve committed to something a month or two ahead of time, thrilled by the concept of being (for example) a doting aunt and loving sister: "Yes, I'd love to babysit my nephews!"  

But when the time actually comes, the reality of screaming children, snotty noses, and poopy diapers bears no resemblance to what you initially agreed upon because you agreed to the why of a concept not the how of the details!

This explains so clearly why I often find myself deep in leadership hot water. I’m a visionary, so I love saying "yes" to new ideas!  I love the ideas. I love how I expect I’ll feel when the vague, blurry idea becomes reality!  

But as the commitment draws closer, the doing-oriented part of my brain knows that things should be getting done; details should be getting checked off lists. Well, Visionary Cheri didn't sign up for no stinkin' details. I signed up for a glorious why!  

Finally, when disaster is imminent, Doer Cheri knows she must take action.  Having procrastinated as long as possible (because Visionary Cheri wants to bask in the glory of the glorious why as long as possible before reality comes crashing down around her) I am then stuck trying to execute dozens, if not hundreds, of soul-killing details in an absurdly short period of time. 

If this sounds familiar – perhaps for you or someone on your leadership team – here are the new steps I’m taking when I’m invited to say “yes” to a new commitment:

1)    I ask for time to think, at least 24-48 hours. I set aside quiet time for meditation and prayer. Then I set a timer for 30 minutes during which I brainstorm every possible detail that needs to be handled in order for me to consider this commitment a success.  

2)    I take my list to my husband, Daniel, and ask him what worst case scenarios I've left off my list. A self-proclaimed anal-retentive detail guy, he is well-qualified to "rain on my parade." And pre-commitment is when I want (or at least need!) to have my spirits dampened.

3)    I then prayerfully consider whether or not I can say "yes" to everything on the list. Not just the vague and blurry why of glory, but to all the nitty-gritty how details required to get me there. When I say "no," thank goodness for all involved!

When I say "yes," then 

4)  I take all of those brainstormed details, prioritize them, and spread them out on my calendar starting that day so I can chip away at them a little bit at a time.

When we agree to the why, we must simultaneously commit 100% to the how, as well. 

How will you make sure, as a leader, that your Visionary and your Doer say “yes” together?

Website: http://www.cherigregory.com/   

Blog: http://cherionethingivelearned.blogspot.com/   

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"He rescued me because He delighted in me.” Psalm 18:19 

Engaging, entertaining, and enthusiastic, Cheri Gregory connects women to the transforming power of God’s love. A story-teller extraordinaire, Cheri draws from Scripture and personal experiences that resonate with women’s frustrations, fears and failures, bringing hope that they are not alone and inspiring courage that they can grow beyond their circumstances.

Cheri, herself, was raised in what appeared to be the “perfect Christian home.” As a child, compensating for underlying family issues, she strove to be the perfect “good little girl.” As a teenager, reacting to her older brother’s drug addiction, she nearly lost her life to eating disorders. Cheri identifies with those who are burdened, and offers hope for the transformation possible through the renewing power of God’s rescuing love.

A Certified Personality Trainer and CLASS* Faculty Member, Cheri has written numerous magazine articles and drama scripts and is featured in Wired That Way: the Complete Personality Plan by Marita Littauer. 

 Married since 1988 to her opposite Personality, Daniel, a pastor, teacher, and musician, Cheri is a high school English teacher and the mother of two college-age kids (who are also opposite Personalities): Annemarie and Jonathon.

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